Krapsakas

For the past couple of years, I thought that if I cut myself off from the news. 
Cut off all relationships and interactions that don’t support me, where I’ve been hurt (this includes different relationships- work, friendship, love), then I’ll be especially positive.

If there are no people who can hurt me, then I’m safe, right?
If I don’t watch negative news, then I’ll be happy, right?
If I sit alone at home and do things that I enjoy without going out, then I’ll be truly happy, right?

I think it was a little more than about half a year ago when that bubble burst.

And suddenly I saw the world and situations from a completely different angle.
I had surrounded myself on social media and in life in general with people who were essentially looking in one direction. It was my bubble of happiness.
I didn’t like standing up for myself because it was uncomfortable and anxiety-provoking for me.
So every time I had to stand up for myself, I either mentally allowed others to run over me or I simply cut that person or topic out of my life.
Easy, right? No person, no problem!

As a side note – sometimes you really do have to cut people out of your life with a cold heart, but that’s a little different topic.

What I actually did was create a fake reality for myself.

My reality was mostly humans who had awakened spiritually. Who was healing their broken patterns. Who were out in nature. Who didn’t watch the news. Who didn’t have a TV at home.
Who was home alone most of the time.
And since other people in my reality were very similar to me, of course, I was living the right way!
Of course that was the only right way to live.
Honey! That was extreme.
How often sleeping people* are at similar extremes (I mean that they deny spirituality, etc.). Then I was at the other extreme. In my world, there were mostly awakened people, where everyone healed themselves and got together to talk about spiritual topics.

*I call sleepers those who don’t know who they are, or what they like. They are dissatisfied with their lives most of the time, but at the same time, they don’t move to get answers to their questions.

What happened when the bubble burst?

A strange feeling arose.

The bubble began to burst for me by my colleagues and clients at the time. When I realized through people’s general attitudes to life that spiritual awakening aka getting to know oneself was still in its infancy.

I sincerely thought at that moment that spirituality had come a long way.

What also gave me this feeling was that since it was talked about so much in magazines, newspapers, news, television, podcasts, etc.
To my brain, it sounded logical that if it was talked about so much publicly, then everyone would know about it. Right?
How can you not know about it when it’s everywhere!?
Oh, little naive Agnes.

And then situations began to arise in life where I talked about some topic that sounded very “witchy” to a sleeping person and they looked at me strangely or my talk made them uncomfortable.

There were also situations where I talked to a person not directly on a spiritual topic, but on a topic about knowing oneself.
I talked about symptoms, so to speak, etc.
And this person looked at me with the most sincere face and even amused that she had the same thing. Those same symptoms! 
And she hadn’t even THOUGHT about it! 
She simply lived in blessed ignorance.
And let it be said that these were areas that a person should know about herself! 
Especially since this topic has also been talked about a lot worldwide in recent years and it often affected her negatively.
The more experiences like this came into my life, the more I realized, oh shit!
Worldwide, there is a lot of talk about spirituality, and getting to know yourself, and many different practices are done to heal old patterns, but STILL, there are a lot of people who are sleeping.

I think that was also one of the reasons why I had an even greater desire to write blog posts and do it in the way I do today.
It’s a different way of going against the masses.
Instead of quickly consuming information from a few-minute video and forgetting it the next moment because you’re already scrolling to the next video..
Instead, I write from the heart.
I allow my voice and power to carry on. 
I allow my inner voice to trigger people to start looking inside themselves. 
That I would get their brains working and they would start questioning things.
I love the ant effect so much and I’m a big proponent of this effect.
That when one becomes two, two becomes three, three becomes seven.. then we CAN change things.
Then we can push people to love themselves even more!
Then we can go against all this negativity and fear-mongering with a larger mass.
And this going against is not just fighting, but becoming aware of what’s going on inside you at all, not letting the masses and (mostly) negative news knock you out of line.

What did I start doing differently after the bubble burst?

I started to purposefully consume the news again. Obviously not mainstream media.
But selected channels and selected people.
Blessed ignorance can be nice sometimes, but sitting in complete darkness and therefore hearing distorted news is worse than minimally consuming news from selected sources.
By listening to distorted news, I mean that even if you don’t listen to or read the news,
we inevitably hear all kinds of news while walking on city street, in the store, on social media, from colleagues at work, etc.
Are these sources neutral? Generally not.
But your subconscious mind still receives this news and quickly draws its own conclusions, which may not be reasonable.

I started consuming more “down to earth” style content.
Not just spiritual content anymore, but general life content.
What are the better choices?
What are the better choices, for example, in kitchen utensils? Why is a certain food bad for the body, even though it is recommended everywhere?
Why is a certain textile bad for the body and what is good? What things are actually more beneficial to nature and people in the long run? Do I really need and what things are actually superfluous for my home?

This may sound extreme.
But I think it just came with age too.
I don’t consume this kind of content to an extreme, but I’m open to it.
I consume it a little bit here and there.


The person who sat at home has become a person who enjoys life and explores life again. I’ve started to do this within my means.
The person who used to be a cold cutout of people has become a person who communicates before and says, “Sorry! I didn’t understand you. Could you please explain this topic again or in different words?”
From a person who sat in anxiety and allowed others to do (almost) anything to her mentally, has become a person who sets clear boundaries and stands by herself. Even when it is sometimes unpleasant or uncomfortable.

With all this talk, I want to remind you that we are only human!
We have come to this planet to gain life experiences and feel different feelings.
Being harsh on ourselves does not help at all.
However, consciously making better choices helps.

With love,
Krapsakas Agnes