Krapsakas

Before I even get to the point, I’d like to say that this entire post is written with compassion and love.
I’m not minimizing anyone’s experiences or taking any gratification from them.
I’ve been in situations like this many times myself and I’m sure I will in the future, because it’s just a part of life.

You’re not uncomfortable enough

You probably know situations in your life where something bothers you, whether it’s about a behavior or belief, interacting with other people, etc.
Or it causes fear. Maybe anxiety. Maybe it’s pain.
Or you’re a little uncomfortable, but at the same time, it’s not that disturbing, so you just let it be.

Yep! You’re not uncomfortable enough yet.
You’re not uncomfortable enough to make the decision in your head and with your whole body that “Enough is enough! I’m not going to go on like this anymore!”.

But why aren’t we uncomfortable enough?

Because we’re used to this discomfort. Our ego (mind), likes this pain. It’s a weird form of masochism.

How can you like it when someone hurts you?
How can you like being unhappy in a relationship?
How can you like your salary being low and causing stress?
How can you like a job that no longer satisfies you or makes your eyes shine?

We are used to following patterns and routines.
This is completely logical and in some ways necessary.
It is necessary for our nervous system to feel calm and not be in a constant “fight-flight-freeze” state, i.e. ready to react.

In other words, routines and patterns are not necessarily bad.
They help us a lot.

However, they can become harmful to us from the moment we start to feel uncomfortable (no matter what the reason is), but we do not decide to change the pattern, but continue on the path we already know.

But what would help?

So how do you get out of the discomfort?

Start by acknowledging the discomfort.

Nothing happens until you admit it out loud to yourself. Only acknowledging the existence of the issue will make things move.

Next – allow yourself to feel the feelings that start to come up after the admission. Usually, it is denial, stubbornness, anger, sadness, etc.

Whatever the feeling is – feel it!
Allow yourself to feel that feeling!

This is usually followed by restlessness, because you are aware of a feeling that you have been ignoring.
Bigger restlessness arises because you would like to get rid of it immediately, but you do not know (generally) what can help you.

But what can help?

Oh, how I hate this part. Because it sucks to go through it!

Go straight through the feeling.

What does that mean?
Whatever you’re feeling, allow yourself to feel it.
Whether it’s heartbreak. Anger because you’re not being valued fairly or something else.
You can’t just ignore the feeling because it’s not helping you.

Go through the feeling. It’s VERY uncomfortable! It’s upsetting. It’s nerve-wracking.
You might feel like you’re losing everything.

But at some point, the light at the end of the tunnel starts to shine.

You start to hear yourself saying, “But if I don’t want this, what do I want?
What is the new thing that I am ready to accept?”

You can still be helped at that time

Different things can help and support you at that time.
For example, sounds, moving your body in different ways, communicating with a specialist in that specific field, or with someone you trust, being with animals, expressing yourself through art, cooking, etc.

It is important not to stop

If you stop at that stage of anger, it will be even more terrible than going through it.
It will not help you at all.

And believe me, first of all, I know HOW disgusting it feels to go through all this.
HOW angry and upset it makes you, but the result is beautiful.

It’s really like going through some kind of dirty, dark, scary tunnel. You don’t know what’s under your feet and is it safe to step on it or will you fall?

But you can’t go back because you know what life you lived there and it’s even more disgusting.
You only see a small glimmer of light at the end of this dark tunnel.
The further you move towards it, the bigger the light becomes.
Until you are in front of the opening of the tunnel and can step out.

In summary

I would like to tell you comfortingly that we go through such a tunnel only a few times in our lives. But the reality is that we do it repeatedly.
Usually, the catalysts for discovering such discomforts are some events that create bigger feelings in us.

For example- a breakup, someone’s death, losing a job, losing someone or something, or a general great irritability/anger/sadness where you feel that you can’t take it anymore.

We usually see such catalysts with a bad eye. Because they are negative.
Although we should look at them with gratitude. Because they have helped us move out of somewhere where we already felt excessively comfortable.

And let it be said here that comfortable does not mean that there is no physical or mental pain.
Oh! There absolutely can be.
Signs of discomfort can be like a small stone in your boot. You notice it, but over time you get used to it.

So be grateful when something in your life flies against the sky. When pain rises.
Or anger with the feeling that you can’t do it anymore or you don’t want to anymore. Because that, my dear, is exactly what makes you move forward.

With love,
Krapsakas Agnes