Krapsakas

You can find The Mama Bear & The Bali Gurus Vol 1 here.

I have also mentioned before in my blog that since I was a very young child I have not tolerated injustice.

Having helped raise my siblings (I’m the oldest child in the family). 
Having raised my furry four-legged daughter.
Being an older sister.
Being a soul with a big heart.

All of these have given me interesting life experiences.
And one of them. Probably the most important – we can’t take away others’ life experiences.
Oh, how I was wrong about that in the past.  I was the first to go save another person from cold water.
Until life gave me my experiences. 

Sometimes you need to let others have their own experiences. 
Even if you, as a bystander, know what the consequences of an action are and it hurts you to watch it from the sidelines. 
You can’t do anything but be there and let them swim in the cold water by themself, until they either ask for help or figure out how to get out of the water on their own.
You just watch this activity from the sidelines.

Have you seen how felines raise their cubs? They don’t chase after them or monologue about how the little one should behave. 
They let them discover the world on their own and correct or guide their actions as needed.

The Mama Bear

At school, I was called the mother lion.
Because I stood up for my people.

My siblings have called me the mama bear.
More precisely, the mother of the Brave, Elinor. Who turned into a bear at one point during the movie (name: Brave). In addition, I am supposed to have the best bear hugs.

My friends have called me the granny.
Because when they come to visit, there is usually a hot meal on the table and no one usually leaves empty-handed.

Strangers, colleagues and acquaintances usually consider me a confidant to whom they can come and tell their worries when they can no longer cope and everything is too much. 
I am supposed to have warm energy.

For many years I tried to stand up for myself. Trying to make it clear with words that look, I’m not just cute, sweet and caring. I’m very arrogant, selfish and narrow-minded at times.
But often people didn’t see that side of me. I was seen as having a soft nature. At some point I let it go to the defensive side. Because I realized that I don’t have to be overly protective. I can and will be gentle and assertive when needed. Because I know my boundaries and standards and I live by them.
And then these interesting things started happening.

Like, for example, a person manipulated me and took advantage of me.
I called out once and gave a warning (If their continues their manipulative behavior, I will remove their from my life).
The person continued their actions, and I removed their from my life.

Or. Quiet, sweet Agnes. Who is warm and caring. And then suddenly this warm, sweet Agnes talks to you in such a strict and specific tone of voice that the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you stop fidgeting and pull yourself together.

What do I want to say with my story?

I know that there is a lot of naivety in me. I love tenderness, softness and all the rose-coloured glasses views.
I can be and am a lioness, a bear, a grandmother. This warm woman who enjoys life with joy and is a real flame.
I will hold space for you. I will let you see and read my life experiences.
I will scold. I will be strict. But I will also hold you.

Look. I am not a miracle person.
I am not infallible.
I have had many moments in my life that I still think to this day:
“Oh God! HOW embarrassing! Why did I do that? 😬”.

I can and do write honestly and from the heart in my blog posts.
But I can’t take your experiences away from you or tell you what’s right for you. I mean, I’m definitely a smartass, but it’s up to you to decide if it speaks to you and you accept it or not.

I can show you things I’ve experienced.
I can call you out.
I can encourage you. 

But I’m a little naive Agnes who believes that the ant effect can change the world.
If I can share kindness with people one by one and show them: 
“Hey! Come stand in front of the mirror with me. Come take a closer look. There are so many beautiful parts in you. You’re not an ugly person. You’re not a jerk. You’re beautiful. Beautiful inside and out! You are already worthy of love!”.

I like an old interview with Cher where she says:
“I’m very gentle. I’m very sweet. And if you fuck with me I’ll really mop the floor with you.”

Being gentle is not our punishment. Being gentle is our strength.

Because to get to that place where you are gentle with yourself and with others – it takes a lot of strength and being honest with yourself.

So. If you are following me and reading my blog – I try to keep a space for you with warmth, love and feminine motherhood.
But I am not the only gentle one. I can mop the floor with you and sometimes I do it, calling you out in places where you don’t want to look at yourself in the mirror.

And as I wrote at the end of The Mama Bear and the Bali Gurus vol 1, I emphasize it here too.
I can be a smartass and say what is right and what is wrong. But at the end of the day, you have to be the one who makes the decisions about your life. And sometimes those decisions aren’t the right ones (even though they seemed like it at first), but then you’ve gained experience and the next time you make a decision, you’ll be a little wiser.

Let me know

What kind of supportive experiences and events are right for you?
Are they ones where a lot of people are together?
An individual 1:1 event, or is it better for you to read and research on your own and then apply it to your life?
Let me know in the comments! 😊

With love,
Krapsakas Agnes