Krapsakas

The following post may be triggering for some people. My request to you is that you read the posts as neutrally as possible to the end and then draw your own conclusions.
I would be happy to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments.

We are all worthy of love. We don’t have to be gorgeous, model-like, or fitness guru-like. We don’t have to be rich. We don’t have to be tall or short.
We don’t have to be parents or “good kids” to be that.
We don’t have to be “right” in society’s sense, to meet any “norms.”

We are all worthy of love exactly for who we are.

All those people who are “different” in the eyes of society are worthy of love.
For example- ADHD, autism, OCD, bipolarity or some other peculiarity.
Also worthy of love are those people whose brain chemistry has gone haywire somewhere and they have a feeling/need/desire to hurt someone or something physically or mentally.

For example narcissists, “psychopaths” etc. (nowadays, psychopaths are called by specific scientific names for diseases, hence the quotation marks).
It sounds very strange, how can you say that people who consciously hurt someone are worthy of love?
But I would say that sometimes these people are even more worthy of love.
Because somewhere this love has created such a big deficit that a person has changed the foundations, the principles of being a human.

NB! I emphasize here!!
The point of my story is not that we will now start showering narcissists and psychopaths with love, so that they will change their behavior patterns! No-no! Definitely not, that is clear mental (or physical) suicide.
What I mean by this is that such people need professional help, probably medical help too.
Of course, we can’t go beyond the principle that people can only be helped if they ask for help themselves and are willing to accept it.

But what I also mean by all this is that often those people who are aggressive, violent, mean. Behind their behavior is usually fear.
Fear of feeling positive, warm feelings, such as love.
Because they haven’t experienced it at the right time or someone they loved very much has hurt them so much that they have locked themselves away and now refuse any love and warm feelings.
The following list of fears applies not only to people with the behaviors listed above, but to all of us.

The fear may be that they don’t know the answer to a question.
The fear may be that they don’t dare admit to themselves or others that they have feelings. Maybe this feeling is new to them?
The fear may be that others will find out that they are not as strong as they show.
The fear may be that they actually know that their behavior was wrong and that someone is now punishing them, for example, with a disapproving look or words.
They may also be afraid of being gentle because they have always had to be strong.
They may be believe that being gentle is a weakness, when in fact it is a strength.
There can be thousands of reasons for fear.

In Estonia we have a saying like “Parim kaitse on rünnak” in English “The best defense is attack”.
What do we all instinctively do when we feel attacked or feel that someone is attacking us? We defend ourselves! Yes?
And sometimes we defend ourselves by choosing no means.
Is this justification? Of course not! It is awareness of the situation.

What I want to say with my story is that you are worthy of love today.
Exactly who you are!
Whether you are poor, whether you are rich.
Whether you are single or in a relationship.
Whether you are homeless or have a home.
Whether you are a woman or a man.
Whether you are broken-hearted or whole.
Whether you are a big mess or organized.

You. Are. Worthy. Of. Love!
And
You. Can. Love. Yourself!
It’s not illegal or anything.

Do you still remember those times when life seemed so nice and easy?
The birds sang differently. The sky was bluer. There was more joy and fun. There were more colors, textures, and shapes in life.
If you no longer remember or have never experienced it at all, then I can tell you that such a life is indeed easy.

There is no time when we are free of all worries.
However, when living in such a pleasant lightness, all kinds of worries are insignificant compared to everything else.
Where laughter is so sincere and deep that you feel how it touches your stomach and reaches even to your toes and the ends of your hair.
Where hugs are so nice that you enjoy them.
Where the smell of nature is soothing.
Where the chirping of birds does not make you nervous but calms you down.

But it starts with a choice.

The choice to decide that you choose love.
That YOU love yourself. In good and bad. And not in a stupidly egotistical way, but with good egotisticalness. Where you put your own needs first, but don’t forget the people around you, nature and life.
And where you decide to choose to allow other people to love you too.

It’s not as easy as my words sound, IF you haven’t allowed it in advance. But I remind you once again that it’s not illegal or anything. Love itself is not illegal! Expressing it incorrectly can be, don’t do it!

And it’s definitely doable that you re-educate yourself to enjoy gentleness, care.
You allow yourself to laugh from the heart. And notice and feel the textures, colors and smells of the world and nature!

With love,
Krapsakas Agnes