Krapsakas

Tartu Entrepreneurship Week was super awesome — 88 free lectures in five days!
I attended 10 of them.

Some people have asked how my employer even allowed this.
Well – part of the lectures were outside work hours, I had 9 overtime hours to use, and several sessions were directly relevant to my job.
So, I’d say I balanced work and learning quite nicely (and still managed to complete my paid work, too).

I wrote a previous post, “Oh! I’m a much bigger introvert than I thought,” and thought that by the end of the same week, I would have time to write a blog post summarizing the week. How did it go? What new knowledge did I gain?
In total, I have written 22 x A4 material from this week. Which still needs to be summarized. But I feel like the time for this has come to an end and I don’t think I’ll do it as a post anymore.

But what really happened was that I got my voice back this week

What actually happened was that I submitted a request for this week– to get my voice and name back. My real one. The one that had been hiding behind fear and politeness for years.
So I started the week still feeling insecure. I had lived with this insecurity for years, it didn’t belong to me, I had adopted it from someone very close to me who is afraid to be themselves. Who is afraid to be seen, who is afraid to even say their full name.

You know that saying about one rotten tomato spoiling the bunch? Energy works the same way.
And no, my loved one isn’t a rotten tomato – but their fear rubbed off on me.
The people we associate with, influence us a lot. Much more than we admit to ourselves.
Be it loved ones, family, friends, colleagues, clients we interact with closely, etc.

So what exactly happened?

On Monday, I introduced myself, words tumbling out of me like I was puking them.
On Tuesday I introduced myself with red cheeks.
But on Thursday I had a breakthrough, because by chance I was chosen to act out the “worst self-introduction” in front of about 30 people.

So the title of the lecture was “How to say in 20 seconds who you are and why your company matters?” by Anu Tähemaa.
Anu’s workshop was brilliant — she’s truly a master of her craft.
If you ever have the opportunity to attend her lecture/training, I highly recommend it!

I knew before going to the lecture that I had to leave this lecture about 10-15 minutes early to get to the next one.
So out of politeness, I told Anu before her lecture started that I had to leave early.
It sounded sycophantic, because really, whose business is it that someone leaves early? But it seemed polite to me.

We were just doing some short group work when Anu came up to me and quietly said: “When you finish, come to the front of the room, I have a challenge for you.”
I said, half scared and distressed, that “-Name- has to leave earlier too!” :D.
It was my colleague who really had to leave earlier.
Anu then said, “Okay, let -Name- come too! And then you come too (a stranger to us, but the third member of our group work)”.

Since I let the others start with this “bad self-introduction”, they used my thoughts (none of us knew what the other was presenting), which I initially wanted to improvise.

So, one did the performance of a super anxious person, the other did “I keep forgetting the idea and clicking with a marker at the same time”.
So I decided to do this “fast version”, i.e. a person who quickly recites the text in one sentence, without taking a breath in between.
Essentially, I was just talking faster than I usually did at the time.
In other words, I was talking like you’re watching videos at 2x speed, without pausing to think.

Guess what?
No one said anything bad.
At the end of each of our presentations, Anu let the audience suggest what could have been done better with such a presentation (meaning a bad example → how to improve it).
I was simply told that I should have paused to think and Anu joked that “Next time, if you want to act out such a bad presentation, make your diction a little worse, it was too clean and clear, understandable at the moment :D”.

Do you have any idea HOW relieved I felt!?
I just introduced myself to about 30 people, doing the absolute worst version of my introduction—which was only slightly over the top.
And what happened? NOT A SINGLE PERSON said anything bad. Like, derogatorily bad.
On top of that, I got to introduce Krapsakas -what it does- and my regular 9-to-5 job.
I clearly said my full name and everything what’s important to me!
AND IT WASN’T THAT BAD!!! 😀

After that lecture, I immediately went to the next one, where I had to introduce myself.
And do you understand!? I went there, introduced myself – eyes shining, with a clean-sounding voice. My full name. Krapskas, a salary job.

Ahhh! That was so good to hear!
I just felt how after that improvisational presentation, my own VOICE came back to me. The Agnes I remembered myself as. The one who speaks in such a way that there is sound, courage, and richness in her voice. Ahh! So nice!
And that powerful voice, conveying so much at once, has remained.
I am so, so grateful for that!

Why am I talking about all this?

If you are one of those who feel like they don’t use their voice the way they should or that you feel like you are afraid to speak in front of strangers. Or something like that.
Then there is a real solution to this. With the right person, anything is possible.

And why do I dare to say it so strongly – because the same Martin, whom I talked about in the introvert post, and also a woman who created 26 lectures for others to listen to as part of the Tartu Entrepreneurship Week – they both say exactly the same thing about Anu. That she does MAGIC with people! Magic, I say! 😀

However, if you can’t get Anu’s help from anywhere, then look around you.
There is most likely someone somewhere who can help you with this.
For example, after the Tartu Entrepreneurship Week, I discovered that we have such a thing in Estonia as the Kõneklubi (Eng: The Speech Club).

I’ll copy some information about it from their website:
“The Speech Club is a practical environment for developing speaking courage and self-expression skills for both modest and confident speakers. During the regular meetings (club evenings) of the Speech Club, you can develop your speaking skills, learn
self-expression, and receive honest feedback.
With the help of study materials and training organized by speaking experts in their field, you can also learn from professionals who share practical tips, new perspectives, and inspiring experiences in addition to what happens in the club.

The ability to speak in public is necessary for every person and the ability to speak successfully comes in handy in many life situations, not only in business and when making a career, but also when communicating with friends and family.”

And they operate in three cities in Estonia – Tallinn, Tartu, Pärnu.
I saw that the price was also quite okay— 75 € for six months.

So, look around you, and probably some similar opportunities are offered.
We often don’t know HOW cool things are around us until we know how to look for them or hear about them somewhere.

With love,
Krapsakas Agnes