Krapsakas

At the end of January, I moved in with my parent. In one of my previous posts, I briefly mentioned that the atmosphere was quite tense. Tense enough that my friend first said once: “Listen, pack your things and come live with me.”
I let it go and thought it would be fine. Over time everything will settle down.
It only took the blink of an eye before my friend said again, this time quite firmly: “Agnes, this is not normal. Pack your things and come live with me.”

-As a side note. Since this involves my parent who is not a public figure, and even though I speak quite openly on this blog, this is where I draw the line and will not go into details about the reasons behind my friend’s reaction. I will only say that it was truly serious and she was not overreacting.-

We had planned to celebrate Valentine’s Day together and I was going to visit her.
By that point, it was already clear that I would move in with her, but I thought it would happen one or two weeks later.
On Valentine’s Day morning, completely on the spot, we made the decision that I would move in with her that very moment, especially since the circumstances were favorable.

What experience did I get from those moves?

These were my third and fourth moves within the last six years.
In total, I have now moved 19 times* in my life.
Across 8 different logistical locations.

* I moved a lot during school time. I’ve also moved with my parents as a child, and with my partner, several times.

1. Start packing early

If you know well in advance that you are moving at a specific time, begin sorting and packing as early as possible.
I have moved often enough in recent years to know how incredibly annoying packing can be.

For my previous three moves, I started packing two weeks earlier and still ended up rushing at the end.
If you have a larger home or need to pack for an entire family, start even earlier.

It is better to live with boxes against the wall than to mentally and physically exhaust yourself by cramming everything in at the last minute.

2. Do not underestimate how many things you have

I lived in Tartu (the city where I lived before moving in with my parent) in a one-room apartment.
It was a fairly spacious apartment, and I assumed I did not own much.
Little naive Agnes.
I had a lot of things. In the end, we moved everything with a car and a trailer.
Before that, we had already transported two full carloads to the new place.

3. Let go of what you no longer need

I regularly go through my belongings and continuously donate, sell, or throw things away. Even so, I still had a huge amount of items to let go of.

Before moving to my friend’s place, I gave away around 30 boxes of my belongings.

Release everything you truly have not used in a long time.
Moving is an excellent opportunity to do a major physical and energetic reset.

4. Ask for help

I remember one of my recent moves- I was already burned out because of work.
On top of that, the move comes fast, from one end of Estonia to the other.
My entire state was “lights on but nobody is home”. I was functioning, but I could no longer think logically about what to pack and where.
Fortunately, my friend, sibling, and parent came to help. I probably would not have managed without them.

Packing together, carrying boxes out of an apartment or house, and bringing them into a new place is a massive help.

This time I packed alone and carried most of the boxes down from the fourth floor by myself during the first move.
On the final moving day, thankfully my friend came to help.
By then I was completely drained mentally and physically. There were days when I walked up 56 floors.

Do not underestimate teamwork. If you do not have people close to you who can help, consider hiring a professional team if possible.

5. Give yourself time to settle in new place

I have underestimated how long it truly takes to feel settled in a new place.
Even if the space or location is logistically familiar, your nervous system still needs time to adjust to the new environment.

By the end of the first week, you usually feel more at ease.
By the second week, there is a sense of exhale, like you have finally arrived.
By the third week, you generally feel at home and have found new places for your belongings within the household.

And it may take you a little while to really feel comfortable in your new home. Allow yourself that time.

6. If the new home feels wrong, trust your intuition

I have seen people share similar experiences on social media- someone moves to a new location, maybe they loved the area or the home itself beforehand.
Yet after moving in and spending some time there, they feel that the place is not truly their home. And that feeling does not fade with time.

Trust that feeling. Your body does not lie.
Yes, there are exceptions and sometimes things improve over a longer period. Occasionally the discomfort comes from something else entirely.
But in most cases, your intuition is accurate.

For example, while living with my parent, I spent those three weeks in a constant state of tension. I did not dare to sit, move, breathe freely, or truly relax.
I assumed it would pass with time, but each week it only intensified.
I never called that place home because I did not feel it was mine. I did not feel welcome.

After moving in with my friend, I called home as a “home” within a few days.

Listen to your intuition. Notice how you speak about a place. Does the word “home” come naturally and lightly, or does it feel forced and uncomfortable?

So what next?

Now is the time to settle into my new home, enjoy life, and let my nervous system get used to and recover in its new place.

I will definitely be moving in the second half of this year, either within Estonia or by fulfilling my dream and relocating abroad.

The goals are set and the direction is clear. Now it is simply about moving forward step by step each day and bringing them to life ☺️.

With love,
Krapsakas Agnes

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